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Do You Care What Other People Think Of You?

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Do You Care What Other People Think Of You?

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Happy New Year! I hope that 2013 has gotten off to a fabulous start for you and that you are feeling great about all the wonderful opportunities that lie ahead of you this coming year.

As for myself, I feel lucky that I love my job so much that I’m actually happy to be back at work after taking a break to spend time with my daughter, Eva. Spending the Holidays with our new baby was very special.

As I’m coming off my maternity leave, I’m launching a new program that I am VERY excited about. Click here to read more about Soul Power.” Just as I’m starting to feel like my old self (I have half of my brain back now that I’m finally sleeping again), this special project is ready to launch. The timing could not have been more perfect. I’m ready to sink my teeth into something at work, and I have the ideal program to put my energy into.

And yet, I’ve been dragging my feet on promoting it. Why? Because I care what people think.

Even though I made a huge transition quitting my job in finance to pursue work as an Executive Coach and Spiritual Healer, I still sometimes feel self-conscious about the “Spiritual Healer” part of that sentence. Especially when I think of the people I used to work with and imagine them reading about some of my programs. I have thoughts like “Will they think I’m cheesy?” “Does it freak people out that I’m open to all kinds of healing techniques which are very alternative?”

After I become self-conscious, I go into “prove it” mode. Let me prove to you that what I’m doing is a) important b) valid c) worthy of your respect. I feel a need to tell people about the tangible results that alternative healing techniques generate in order to gain their credibility.

It’s like I’m trying to prove something to an imaginary audience of critics that I’ve created in my own mind.  And guess what? It’s exhausting! Does any of this sound familiar to you?

The funny part is, when I’ve actually taken the time to chat with some of my former business colleagues about what I’m doing, they are incredibly supportive. Sure, some of them are more curious about it than others – it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but none of them are nearly as dismissive as the fake audience I’ve created in my head!

Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy. We can create an incredible barrier to doing what FEELS RIGHT and what truly makes us HAPPY because we have all this FEAR about “WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK OF ME?”.

This applies to both big and small things.

I know someone who tried to force herself to be in a literary book club that read a lot of “important” non-fiction books.

She hated it.

The truth was, she had a penchant for fantasy novels like the Chronicles of Narnia and Harry Potter. She was embarrassed by this and thought she “should” read “more important” books and subscribe to The Economist. But, when she finally confessed the truth to a fellow book club member, guess what? The other woman felt the EXACT same way and they ended up breaking off and creating their own book club to read fun,fantasy books. They both loved it.

My question to you this week is: What part of yourself are you denying because you’re afraid what people will think, or YOU think you “should” be some other way?

Once you discover that hidden side of yourself that you’ve been ashamed to acknowledge, the best thing you can do is find a way to EMBRACE it!

Tell someone how you really feel, what you really think, who you REALLY are.

Not only will you feel better, but you’ll be amazed at the opportunities you’ll create in your life once you start coming from a place of authenticity.

Even admitting that you don’t like something as much as you’ve let on is a start. And like I said, it can be about something that seems small or trivial – this doesn’t have to be ground breaking, but even the small things make a big difference! You can try any of the following:

    • Say “no” to an event that you aren’t looking forward to attending
    • Try a new hobby, especially one you’ve wanted to try but were afraid of making a fool of yourself. (Any type of dance class should do! Unless you’re a dancer, of course)
    • Read or watch something just because you want to, not because you “should”
    • Ask someone to hang out even if you’re nervous they’ll say no

What else can you come up with?!

Vanessa Loder

If you liked this exercise, click here to buy our manifestation course “Create Your Ideal Life,” on sale for $49!

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