I spent a previous blog separating story from reality. My basic example is this: gravity is real, why we think it works is a story. We all have a story and it colors everything we experience.

“Big deal,” you might say. “So we all have a story.” Consider this, what if your story got out of the way of your happiness? I bet that caught your attention.

Here’s an interesting tidbit: emotions come from the story, not the reality. Again, your emotion about something comes from your story. That means that a different story produces different emotion.

Many people avoid future relationships because of a divorce. Divorce is the reality. There was a marriage, now there is not. But what is the story from the divorce? For the person who does not want to get involved again, that story could be along the lines of, “I’m a failure when it comes to relationships.” That is a big, ugly, heavy, upsetting story to carry.

What if the story from that divorce was, “That relationship did not work, but I learned, grew, and have a new direction now”? I think that’s a freeing, happy story.

Having a hard time changing the story? Try an affirmation. “I learn and grow because of ALL of my relationships.”

A great thing about stories: you can change yours and write a new one!
Is your story in your way?


About Vanessa Loder
Vanessa Loder
Vanessa graduated from Columbia University, Phi Beta Kappa, Summa Cum Laude and received her MBA from Stanford University. After working in finance for almost ten years, Vanessa realized that she was deeply unfulfilled by her career.

She quit her job to follow her heart and transformed herself so much, that she has now dedicated her life to helping other people, including through her new program,
You Can Create an Ideal Life.

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