Many of us have gotten in the habit of being a victim in our own lives. We think “Oh, that stupid police officer gave me a ticket, so of course I’m pissed off right now” or “Oh, well, I had a bad childhood and that’s why I turned out the way I did” or “My boss doesn’t appreciate me and I’m underpaid.”
In each of these situations, can you control what the other person is doing? No.
Can you control how you choose to react to them? Yes.
That’s called starting to take responsibility for your life. It doesn’t mean that you won’t have the thought “My boss doesn’t appreciate me”. The mind will still chatter on to you and you can’t control it.
But what you DO have control over is how you choose to BE once you have that thought. You can wallow in it and continue to get annoyed with the person, or you can shift your attitude to being more positive and caring for that person and becoming curious about what part of YOU has created this situation. And that shift is completely under your control.
Remember the character Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh? Poor Eeyore. Bad things were always happening to him.
Rather than taking responsibility for his life, Eeyore would moan and complain about all the awful things that were depressing him. Eeyore is the ultimate victim.
Whenever you’re wondering whether or not you’re taking responsibility for your life, picture Eeyore and ask yourself “Am I being an Eeyore right now?”
If the answer is “Yes”, then there is something you’re not taking responsibility for and I encourage you to be curious what you can control.
Vanessa Loder
About Vanessa Loder
Vanessa graduated from Columbia University, Phi Beta Kappa, Summa Cum Laude and received her MBA from Stanford University. After working in finance for almost ten years, Vanessa realized that she was deeply unfulfilled by her career.
She quit her job to follow her heart and transformed herself so much, that she has now dedicated her life to helping other people, including through her new program,
You Can Create an Ideal Life.
Vanessa is a gifted coach who has enriched my life and helped me to see myself from a totally refreshing perspective. She has a powerful armory of tools she has shared with me and has skillfully navigated me through some deep issues i have held onto and helped me to have a more compassionate view of myself. This in turn has strongly impacted both my personal life and my business. I could not recommend working with her more highly to begin a wonderful journey of rediscovery of self.
[...] Do you want to be the type of person who is aware of what is making you unhappy and takes responsibility for making changes, or do you want to be an Eeyore? [...]