In a large research study on human capital trends, 65-75% of organizations identified an issue called the “overwhelmed employee.” Leaders agreed this was a critical issue but said they didn’t know what to do about it.

I recently spoke with Josh Bersin, a fellow Forbes Contributor who is the Founder of Bersin by Deloitte, a leading provider of research-based membership programs in human resources, talent and learning. When Josh and his team looked at the data about overwhelmed employees, they found something else going on – the need to simplify the workplace.

He shared, “with mobile phones, email, text messages, global teams, conference calls, social media, and pretty soon even watches talking at us, there is so much stuff coming at us, we are constantly flooded and can’t get our work done, and we feel less productive than we were in the past.”

Forward thinking companies are recognizing the need to simplify the work environment and the company. According to Josh, “the key is to work really hard to declutter work. Stop sending so many emails. Reduce the number of things we ask people to do. Simplify the technologies we have. You can’t just layer more stuff onto people.”

GE is a good example of this with its new strategy “GE Simplification,” which involves delayering the company. GE found that business units with more managers to employee are less productive because multiple managers divide the employee’s attention, reducing their overall productivity. GE also uses a Lean Startup methodology to get products in front of customers earlier for feedback, which has helped them reduce cycle time. Simplifying has helped GE focus on what really matters.

Josh shared, “While most companies evaluate employees on hitting their goals, GE decided: ‘that’s not our priority. We need to focus on teaching people how to do LESS and do a better job on fewer things.’” They created a whole program to simplify an overwhelming workplace. They also reduced the number of HR functions and outsourced service centers.

Some companies shut off emails after hours and encourage leaders not to read or respond to email on nights or weekends. Josh said; “we have a policy at Deloitte now, if you’re on PTO or vacation, we’ve been instructed not to respond to email. It’s setting a bad example.”

Josh also believes that “Ultimately, we as human beings have to deal with this overwhelm, the organization can only do so much. The company can’t stop Apple from announcing another product that gives us more information.”

The good news is that regardless of your company’s policy, you can start simplifying your own behavior immediately. Here are three tips I’ve found helpful in letting go of the overwhelm:

1. Let it go. (just like that annoying Disney theme song from Frozen)

Notice when you’re creating unnecessary work or sending emails at odd times. Resist the urge to hit “send” until normal working hours. This takes incredible self-discipline in the beginning.

One helpful practice can be to institute a twenty four hour email detox that starts Friday at sundown. This means you don’t check email from Friday night until Saturday night. If this seems difficult or nearly impossible…that could be a sign you’re overdue for a technology detox.

From a leadership perspective, creating a policy that encourages employees not to respond to email on nights or weekends is a great first step.

2. One screen at a time.

Focus on one task and one screen at a time. Shut down all other browsers, don’t look atBloomberg while checking emails and drafting a note. Task density leads to a sense of overwhelm, the solution is to eliminate multi-tasking.

Share the research within your organization on the downside of multi-tasking to create a culture that supports simplicity.

3. Get still.

Meditation is another great tool to help focus, calm the mind and stay present amidst the overwhelm. Leaders are realizing mindfulness is a powerful tool to improve employee wellbeing thatcosts very little to implement.

Try this 30 Day Meditation Challenge for free. It’s just five minutes a day. Big change starts with small steps.

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I recently had the honor of interviewing Tami Simon, the founder of Sounds True, a multimedia publishing company that just celebrated its 30th year.  As a successful entrepreneur and the creator of a company whose mission is to disseminate spiritual wisdom, I was curious to hear Tami’s personal story.

I asked Tami to share more about how she first came up with the idea for Sounds True when she was in her early twenties. Tami described herself as “quite an existentially distressed twenty year old.”

She dropped out of college and started praying really hard, “There was a quality of desperation in that [situation].  I wasn’t in some fabulous place. I needed to know is there any way I can be here in this world, make sense out of my life and make a contribution to other people?”

She realized that the “most important thing was to be of benefit and generate some type of change so the world would look more like a place I wanted to be a part of.”

And she came up with a single sentence to summarize her desire;“God, I’m willing to do your work, please show me what it is.”

“I said that prayer many times a day for about nine months. At a certain point a series of wonderful coincidences happenedand I was led to someone who was very helpful to me. I had inherited $50,000 and asked him what I should do with it and he said ‘you should put it into yourself’.”

Tami did just that. And, she believes that man’s impact was profound in part because he gave her tremendous permission to trust herself; “The permission I received was someone looking me straight in the eye and saying you KNOW what you want to do. You’re dancing around it, you don’t quite want to claim it but you know.”

Tami believes that we often act more confused than we are because we’re not willing to step into the responsibility and the sacrifice that might be required, but [underneath the confusion] we almost always know what we deeply want.

When she walked out of his office, Tami heard a clear message; “disseminate spiritual wisdom” and it felt right.

When I asked Tami how she knew that it “felt right” (in less than 10 minutes, no less!), she shared that at the time, she was reading a book by Eugene Gendlin called “Focusing.”

In it, he talks about having a felt sense in your body, and how to tune into it to get a sense of when things are right versus not right.

The felt sense Tami had when she heard “disseminate spiritual wisdom” was a sense of elation, ecstasy, and absolute rightness. After confirming this gut feeling, Tami started engaging in a rational thinking process. She asked herself what the most effective way for her to disseminate wisdom would be – she could do it through books, print, TV or audio.

She quickly determined that she wasn’t interested in books as the publishing space was very crowded at that time. Video didn’t interest her as her parents watched a lot of television and it created a deadened environment in their household. And then there was audio, which intrigued Tami. She had volunteered hosting a late night radio show in college and really enjoyed it. She loved both music but also listening to the sound of the human voice, dialogue conversation, and hearing great lectures (if any of you have heard Tami’s voice, it sounds like velvet and belongs on the radio). Tami also thought practically about how the audio medium was the least expensive medium, and made her decision.

Once she had made the decision to disseminate spiritual wisdom through audio, Tami asked herself “Hmmm, how will I do that?” She already had a volunteer interview program in which she was talking to some of the world’s greatest spiritual teachers. At the end of the program, she would make four or five copies of the show and people would buy the cassettes.

She was selling about five cassettes a week. At the time, people were just getting into high speed cassette duplication. Tami decided to record speakers who were putting on workshops that she couldn’t afford to go to, give them a copy of the recording and then make additional copies for participants to cover her costs and give the speaker a percentage.  And thus, Sounds True was born.

Fast-forward to today, Tami hosts a podcast for spiritual teachers and it was downloaded more than three million times last year!

When I asked her how she’s faced challenges as the business has grown and evolved, she said; “There hasn’t been a week, maybe even a day, that’s gone by where there hasn’t been some type of challenge. I’m not exaggerating. Some author who decided to work with someone else in addition to us. Someone is suing the company. The website is down for this reason. It’s a bumpy road for everyone who is running a business. Organizational life is so complex. Someone’s partner is moving to the East Coast and they’re going to go with them. If you don’t have an appetite for challenge, than entrepreneurship would not be the right direction for you.”

When I asked Tami how she’s gotten through all these challenges, she said; “My attitude is one of extreme perseverance. Super Grit. I don’t give up.”

She isn’t entirely super human and did share that she’ll spend “some time on the ground, but then I get back up.  Regardless of whether a major account goes bankrupt and owes us hundreds of thousands of dollars or our new website will lose hundreds of thousands of dollars.  The number of problems is great. I don’t see it as anything but life. The good part is we get to be resourceful, creative, love each other, find interesting fun ways to come back and create something anew given the feedback we’ve received.”

When I asked Tami what advice she has for other entrepreneurs going through a challenging time, she shared;  “You have to be able to eat the reality sandwich of your situation.”

She continued, “You’re not going to be successful long term in business if you’re not willing to tell yourself the truth and the facts about what’s happening.  You have to start there.”

The next step, according to Tami, is to “get some expert help if you’re really in a difficult situation.” And just take the next step. You don’t know what’s going to happen six months or two years down the line, make a decision and move forward.

When I asked Tami how she infuses her organization with consciousness and wisdom, she said; “The first and most important thing is saying that the whole person and the authentic person is who we invite to show up.”

In addition, Tami shared that at SoundsTrue, they have three different bottom lines that they’re managing towards. In addition to profitability, they also manage towards what she called a “groovy workplace” where love is the bottom line. They think about the quality of growth, learning, enjoyment and pleasure that their employees are experiencing. And, they’re willing to spend money on that. Tami is an advocate of bringing in good management consulting to train managers to really listen and bring out the best in the people who work with them. The third metric she measures her business on is its mission: publishing and broadcasting material that will be transformative in people’s lives.

Tami said the benefit of managing to these three bottom lines is that they can always fulfill #2 and #3; “We can make more or less profitability, but we can always be true to #2 and #3 – creating a groovy workplace and helping to transform and upgrade people’s consciousness”

When I asked Tami for advice on how to create a great culture, she shared; “These things bubble up from the community. My job is to say yes. People are tribal by nature, they know how to connect. It’s not about a top down thing.” She shared an example where employees asked to have a “pajama day” where they came to work in their pj’s. Tami said it wasn’t exactly her type of thing but she said yes, and the employees love it.

Tami’s final advice for entrepreneurs; “You don’t need to see something modeled out there to know that it’s the right thing for you to do. Often we wait and say I need a mentor who will help me see it’s already been done this way or that way .

She continued, “Don’t look to play the game that the culture is presenting to you. Have the courage to create a different framework based on your values and what matters to you. First, it ends up being quite successful in business when you do things that have never been done before. Second, it’s possible there is something in you that is UNPRECEDENTED, that hasn’t happened before.”

The post How Calling On God Helped This Highly Successful Entrepreneur appeared first on Akoya - Empowering Women thru Life Coaching, Workshops, & Retreats.

I was dropping my daughter off for the day when another mom approached me and said, “Hey, I’m going to this big conference for women that Hilary Clinton is speaking at, and I saw you’re speaking, too! That’s so great!!”

And I found myself replying, “Well, I’m not really speaking, I’m moderating a panel.”

“That’s amazing!” she said. “I’m sure you’ll get a lot of exposure for your business!”

“They’re planning to send some of my information to their email list, so who knows,” I said, “maybe I’ll get something from that.”

She again replied with total enthusiasm while I continued to rebut everything nice or positive that came out of her mouth.

Afterwards, as I was driving home, I realized I had just done what my friend Kristen Wheeler describes as “not owning your awesomeness.” I’d just been asked how my awesomeness was going, and I basically told her “Oh, I’m really not that awesome.”

I felt inspired to share this with you so that the next time someone approaches you in a positive, enthusiastic way and asks how things are going, you can follow these five steps to start owning your awesomeness!

1. Notice that you are denying your awesomeness when you:

• Push away the compliments
• Focus on the ways you fall short
• Act as though your accomplishments are not that big a deal
• Generally deny your awesomeness

2. Recognize that you are not alone in this.

It’s human nature. Research shows women particularly have a hard time touting our strengths because we can be viewed as either competent or likeable, but not both. So it’s normal that many of us feel uncomfortable owning our accomplishments.

3. Start to see the good in yourself.

Practicing self-compassion is a great way to start opening yourself up to more awesomeness. A 2010 study by Leah Shapira and Myriam Mongrain showed that people who wrote a self-compassionate letter to themselves once a day for seven days were less depressed, less anxious, and experienced greater happiness up to six months later!

4. List your Awesomeness.

My business partner Lisa Abramson and I have started this practice as part of our weekly planning and it’s been incredible. Each week, we look back at the prior week and spend three to five minutes writing down everything we’re proud of having accomplished that week. I recommend listing at least 10 things.

Another thing that’s helped me is to keep a folder on my computer called “Appreciations” or “Awesome”. Each time I get a touching email or message from a client or someone else giving me positive feedback, I cut and paste it into this document. On days when I’m feeling down or frustrated, I pull up this document and it never fails to bring a smile to my face.

5. See if you can own just a little more of your awesomeness.

You start by receiving compliments or enthusiastic inquiries in a more positive way. Simply say, “Yes, I am really excited about this new opportunity! And I’m proud of what I’ve done. Thanks for asking me about it.”

If this feels uncomfortable, you can add, “It feels a bit awkward for me to acknowledge what I’ve done well. I want to change that and I appreciate your help.”

By following these five steps, you’ll see how much easier it becomes to receive a compliment and own your awesomeness with ease! And if you’d like a practice to tap into your best self, join our Free 30-Day Meditation Challenge, which starts April 6th.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

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Human beings all deeply want to believe in something. It’s in our basic human nature.  If you want to motivate your employees and attract customers and investors with ease, one of the most vital things you can do is give them a “why” to believe in.

There is a fascinating study done by Dr. Adam Grant and his colleagues who worked with call center employees at the University of Michigan. These employees had the unenviable task of cold calling alums to ask for money. One of the groups in this study was able to meet a scholarship recipient and talk to him first hand. The scholarship recipient talked about how much the scholarship had changed his life, and he thanked the people in the call center for their hard work. Once the call center workers realized how their work had an impact, they became motivated to work harder and the group’s weekly revenue increased an amazing 400%.

In another study, when nurses assembling surgical kits met the health-care practitioners who would use their kits, the nurses worked 64% more minutes and made 15% fewer errors than those nurses who did not meet the “end user ” (Belle, 2013).

In national surveys over the past three decades, the vast majority of Americans have identified meaningful work as the single most important feature that they seek in a job.One of the easiest and most powerful ways to imbue a sense of meaning in work is to put employees in touch with the end user.

For example, Deere & Company invites farmers who are buying tractors to visit the factories with their families. Assembly line employees get to meet the farmers, hand them a gold key, and watch them start their tractors for the first time.

At Olive Garden, managers share with the staff letters from customers describing how they chose to celebrate meaningful events at the company’s restaurants.

Great leaders know that people are intrinsically motivated when they understand why they are doing something, and the best leaders put the correct conditions in place to ensure people gain this deeper connection.

According to Dr. Grant, a face-to-face meeting has the strongest emotional impact on an employee, particularly when the employee does not normally interact with the end user.

A Microsoft lab manager interviewed by researchers Michael Cusumano and Richard Selby explains that after seeing an end user, developers “immediately empathize with the person. The usual nonsense answer; ‘Well, they can just look in the manual if they don’t know how to use it,’ or ‘My idea is brilliant; you just found ten stupid people’ just goes out the door.” Grant adds that “a face-to-face connection with end users appears to elicit empathy among the developers, motivating them to design software with users in mind.”

As a leader, ask yourself “What are the ways I can engage end users with our employees?” One start up in Silicon Valley invites current and potential clients to a monthly happy hour event with employees.

Another solution is to harness some of the information you may already have. If you have letters from satisfied customers, positive feedback, gratitude, or even data showing the impact of your products and services, share this information broadly in your organization. As Bonobos CEO Andy Dunn shared with me in an interview, “There are no diminishing returns to specific positive feedback .” It’s a free, unlimited resource that many leaders are not leveraging as well as they could.

Another option is to turn employees into end users. Encouraging employees to try the product for themselves is the easiest way to create this conversion. Not only does the company receive additional feedback on its products, but the employees have a better understanding of the user experience.

Sending employees out into the field is another way to connect them with end users.Chris Hendriksen, the CEO of healthcare company VRI, says he spent his first few months at the company riding in the truck, visiting end users, and participating in the actual customer experience.

Regardless of the specific approach you take, the research clearly demonstrates that a simple yet powerful way to decrease burnout and greatly increase the motivation and satisfaction level of your team is to give them a “why” to believe in. And one of the easiest ways to do this is to connect your employees with your end users.

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When you’re running your own business, the more you grow, the more feedback and criticism you receive. This can be difficult to handle. How can you take control of criticism and use it to your advantage rather than living in fear of it?

Here is a framework, part of which comes from leadership expert John Maxwell, that will help you evaluate criticism with a more balanced lens.

1. Ouch that hurts.

Receive the criticism and acknowledge how it makes you feel. Many of us want to be strong when faced with criticism, especially from people we don’t know or respect. But the truth is criticism hurts. And the first step to using criticism to your advantage is to admit that it hurts and to know that you are not weak or alone in feeling upset by it.

2. Sleep on it.

When you receive criticism, try not to react immediately because your gut response will be charged with emotion. You may feel hurt or angry, and chances are you’re in the fight, flight, or freeze part of your brain. If you respond from this place, you’re more likely to react in a less than productive way – like sending a nasty email back.

Brene Brown tells a funny story in her book Daring Greatly about receiving a negative email, and forwarding it to her husband saying something along the lines of “Can you believe this a**hole?!” Only to discover that she hadn’t actually forwarded the email. She had hit reply! As you can imagine, this caused the person to send an even nastier response. To avoid this type of scenario, try sleeping on it before doing anything.

3. Give yourself compassion.

The best way to respond to the pain that is inevitable from receiving criticism is to be compassionate with yourself. Most people respond by lashing out either at the other person “what a jerk!”; or at themselves, “I’m such an idiot! I can’t believe I made that mistake.”

A simple way to give yourself compassion after receiving a piece of criticism is to speak to yourself as you would a good friend, saying “aww, this hurts, I’m sorry you’re feeling bad, you tried so hard on that presentation and I’m really proud of what you did!”

4. Wise advisor or mean spectator?

Next, reflect on who is giving the criticism. Do you view this person as a wise, trusted advisor? As Brene Brown says, “If you’re not in the arena with me, I’m not interested in your opinion.” Brene decided not to listen to any anonymous comments because those people are not actually in the arena being courageous. Take a moment to reflect on the person giving you the feedback and notice whether this is someone you consider a wise advisor or not.

5. Cruel or good intentions?

Notice in what spirit the criticism was given. Was the criticism coming from a place of kindness, or was it mean-spirited? What are the circumstances surrounding the delivery of the criticism? Was the deliverer of the criticism under stress or pressure, or going through a difficult time? This will help give you some much needed perspective.

6. Feedback only tells you about the other person.

Tara Mohr takes a radical approach, which I’ve found very helpful. She suggests thatfeedback or criticism tells you nothing about you, it only tells you about the person giving the feedback.  So if someone does not like your product or service, she argues that doesn’t actually tell you anything about your product or service. It tells you about the person giving you the feedback. And if that person is not one of your target consumers, advisors, or investors, you may not be interested in their feedback.

7. Find the gift.

Not all criticism is critical, we just take it that way because our business is our baby and it feels very personal. Now that you’ve slept on it and practiced self-compassion, you’re ready to ask yourself the big question; Close your eyes, take a deep breath and ask; “Hmm, what is the gift or opportunity in this?”  Is there anything of value that you can learn or take away from this piece of criticism? If not, let it go and move on.

For more help with #3, practicing self-compassion, try this free self-compassion toolkit.

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Let me paint a picture for you. Your day is chock full of meetings, between which you frantically try to catch up on emails and respond to everyone’s requests. Your tight schedule forces you to get back online at night to finish work after you’ve had dinner or put your kids to bed.​

This leaves you feeling exhausted and as though you’ve never done enough at the end of each day. You can’t seem to get any “real” work done during the day. Does this sound familiar?

Here are five tips and some sample templates to help you efficiently deal with the daily deluge of emails and get the real work done.

1.  No Email In The Morning

DO NOT check email the first hour of the day. If you want to be really productive, do not check email for the first three hours of the day. As you practice this act of self-discipline, you will be astounded at how much more productive you are.

One successful entrepreneur told me the best advice he ever received was  “Don’t read your email until three hours into your day, otherwise you’ll do email for the first three hours of the day.”

The most successful people don’t check email first thing in the morning.

Research shows if you’re trying to form a new habit, it’s easier to replace one habit with another rather than going cold turkey . So, instead of checking email first thing in the morning, I recommend starting your day with a short, 5 minute guided meditationto clear your mind before you tackle your most important project.

The post How To Deal With The Daily Deluge Of Emails (And Get The ‘Real’ Work Done) appeared first on Akoya - Empowering Women thru Life Coaching, Workshops, & Retreats.

I had dinner with three of my very busy girlfriends the other night — one is recently married and the other two have toddlers and babies at home — and they asked me for some practical tips to incorporate meditation and mindfulness into their daily lives.

As an entrepreneur and mom myself, I’ve found a few simple ways to fit meditation into an already busy schedule:

1. Make a small commitment.

I once used an app to track how much I was meditating and here is what I found: The periods of time when I tried to meditate for twenty minutes every morning, over time, averaged out to less than four minutes a day!

When we make a big commitment and think we have to meditate for twenty minutes, often we don’t meditate at all. On the other hand, if you commit to just one, two, or five minutes each day, you are much more likely to stick with it. And over time, you will actually meditate more. There are plenty of free, 30-day meditation challenges available online to help you get started. Like this one.

2. Have a routine — inner and outer.

It helps to create a routine around your practice. Meditate at the same time each day if possible, and create a sacred place where you can sit in stillness.

I like to bribe myself with a nice scented candle and a cozy, soft blanket. I also find that having an inner routine helps a great deal too — I walk myself through the same initial set of relaxation instructions at the beginning of each meditation, and my mind recognizes this and immediately starts to calm down.

For some people, it helps to have a mantra. I often do a grounding exercise to root to the earth and clear my energy at the beginning of every meditation practice.

3. Practice mindful exercise.

One of my favorite things to do is find presence when I’m on a run. I consider this a form of moving meditation and it’s a great way to quiet a busy mind.

When you’re on a run, walk, or other form of exercise, you can start by noticing your breathing — the rise and fall of your chest. I also find it helpful to count out intervals. I inhale and exhale three-to-five times (depending on how fast I’m breathing), which marks one interval of mindfulness.

Then I shift my awareness to other senses. I feel the wind against my skin for three to five inhales and exhales, that’s another rep. I notice the sound of the gravel under my feet or hear the birds calling in the sky for three-to-five breaths. Then I pay attention to light and shadow, the trees moving in the wind for three-to-five breaths.

I try to do at least ten reps of this exercise and will often spend the majority of my run becoming more present with my senses.

I also highly recommend doing a loving kindness meditation while running. Try saying the following phrases to yourself over and over again while exercising:

“May I be happy and peaceful. May I feel safe and protected. May I be held in loving kindness.”

4. Meditate with your kids, your partner, or a friend.

I’ve learned the following technique called Loop of Awareness, from mindfulness expert Katie Hendricks:

Set the timer on your phone for anywhere from one-to-five minutes. Sit down facing your child on the ground or, if they are older, on a chair. Notice the rise and fall of your chest, and start to pay attention to your inhale and exhale for two or three breaths, while looking at your child. Then, switch your awareness to your child. Notice the rise and fall of their chest, notice what they are doing, how they are moving, and appreciate them for two or three breaths. Then, switch back to yourself. Notice the support of the floor or chair underneath your body, and become aware of all the places you are touching an external surface. Notice the rise and fall of your chest. Feel the texture of the carpet under you. Do this for two or three breaths. Then, go back to your child.

This is aptly called a loop of awareness, because you are paying attention to yourself, then your child, and repeating this pattern.

Whenever I do this with my daughter, she absolutely lights up. Her whole face smiles! It’s amazing how quickly kids notice your presence and respond to it. You can do this with anyone in your life, not just a child.

My husband and I went to a couples retreat on Valentine’s Day a couple of years ago and they had us do a similar version of this exercise. We sat in chairs facing each other, and one person would breathe naturally while the other would match that breathing. What happened was my chest would rise and fall in tune with my husband’s for a minute. Then we would switch. We felt so close afterwards.

Try these four techniques for yourself and let me know in the comments below what you think.

Photo Credit: Stocksy

The post 4 Tips To Make Meditation Easy, No Matter How Busy You Are appeared first on Akoya - Empowering Women thru Life Coaching, Workshops, & Retreats.

One woman recently asked me, “How do you go to work all day, attend several meetings, then come home and make dinner and tomorrow’s lunch and go to bed early enough to get enough sleep so that you can do it all over again tomorrow? Is there a way to get all of this done – oh, and find time for exercise and meditation as well?” Here are five tips I use to create more time in my day while being bombarded with demands.​

1)   Just say No

The key to creating more time is to start saying “no” to requests and obligations that you don’t want to fulfill.  It’s kind of like cleaning out your closet. At first, you think everything is necessary. But once you begin getting rid of hangers from the dry cleaners and creating more space, you gain momentum. By the time you’re done, it feels great!

I had one client who felt like she “should” be on the board of this nonprofit. But she was dreading the meetings and exhausted from her job and commute; she started to feel resentful of the commitment. She resigned from the Board and immediately felt a huge weight lift off her chest.

TIP: Think of ONE thing that you want to say no to right now and Just Say No. HINT: If you hear yourself saying “I should” or you start feeling resentful about a commitment, that’s a sign to let go.

For example, I have a holiday party that I’m going to just say no to, and stay home to take a bath and read a book instead.

2)   Give Yourself Permission

Many of us want to say no to something but then we feel guilty. We think it’s selfish, or we’re scared someone will be mad or disappointed with us. What’s better: showing up and feeling resentful – not really enjoying the activity – or, being honest and taking care of your needs and feeling happier? One of my favorite quick tips to deal with this guilt is to write a permission slip. Similar to the permission slips children get at school, I will literally take out a piece of paper and write “I give Vanessa permission to take care of herself by skipping this holiday party and staying home in a bubble bath instead.” You’ll be surprised how much better you feel once you give yourself permission.

TIP: Get out a Post-it note or small piece of paper right now, and write yourself a permission slip. Put it in your wallet and read it whenever you’re feeling guilty about your choice.

3)   Stop Keeping Up With The Jones’

In addition to saying No to other people’s requests, say no to society’s demands. One of the keys to creating more time and relaxation in your life is to stop piling unnecessary things on your own plate. We are in a culture of overwhelm, over-commitment, and over-scheduling. In the midst of this madness, it’s scary and difficult to keep your own schedule simple and paired down. Do you have a need to constantly be in motion, getting things done? See if you can start to slow down and notice the ways that you are creating work for yourself. Maybe you don’t need to drive all the way across town to attend that meeting or event. What can you let go of and simplify in your life? Meditation is a great tool for quieting the mind, here is a free 30 day challenge for beginners that only takes five minutes a day.

TIP:  Notice the ways you are over-committing yourself with the choices you make. What can you simplify or do 80% and still do well enough?

4)   Get Clear On Your Must Haves

Many people ask me how they can “do it all.” Here’s the deal: We can do it all, but we need to redefine what “doing it all” really means. And this starts with getting clear on your values and making choices aligned with those values. Here is a free Values Assessment Tool that can help you get started.

You need to get really clear on what your Must Haves are. What do you absolutely HAVE to have in your life? What brings you the MOST JOY? For me, exercise is a must have, I feel so great when I move my body and I get really cranky when I don’t. While I really love home cooked meals, I don’t enjoy making them during the week and so I’ve decided that is not a must have for me. Another client of mine is a senior manager at Google. She wanted to spend more time with her two toddlers and travel less. She decided to rely more on her team, simplified her schedule and now takes her daughter to Mommy and Me classes once a week.

TIP: Find your Must Haves and make those a priority.

5)   Ride The See Saw

Balance is like a see saw, even when we find it, it is easy to lose it again. The important part is to not get so out of whack that one end of the see saw slams into the ground. Some days you might feel that you did a really great job at work and you led meetings with confidence and efficiency, other days you may cook a delicious healthy meal or find time to exercise. It’s ok if you don’t do everything every day, the key is to appreciate what you’re doing each day and find the right balance over time.

TIP: Are you really out of balance in any one area of your life right now? If so, address that area first. Adjust before the seesaw slams you into the ground.

The post 5 Tips For Making Time For Yourself Despite Competing Priorities appeared first on Akoya - Empowering Women thru Life Coaching, Workshops, & Retreats.

The end of the year is a natural time to sit back and reflect on what went well and what you’d like to do differently in 2015. Many people make New Year’s Resolutions to stay on track or set new goals in the coming year. Unfortunately, studies show resolutions degrade quickly and only about 40% of those who make resolutions actually stick to their goals.

In this day and age of over-commitment, over-stimulation and overwhelm, perhaps you should try a radically different approach. This year, instead of rattling off a list of things you have every intention of doing but will not fulfill, why not make a shorter list of things you will not do in the coming year?

Here are the 5 Rules for Creating an Anti-New Year’s Resolution List:

1) It must be limited to a maximum of three things. One thing is even better.

2) Be specific.

3) It should take less than five minutes to write this list.

4) It should take less than ten minutes to complete any action items on this list.

5) You should feel joyful and light while creating this list. If it feels like “work” then your Anti-New Year’s Resolution list should be to not make any list at all.

As an example, here is my Anti-New Year’s Resolution List:

1) I will stop setting unrealistic goals for my business and feeling disappointed when I don’t hit them.

2) I will unsubscribe from at least three mailing lists that I never read and I will say “No” to that non-profit that asked me to advise their portfolio companies.

3) I let go of believing my body should look exactly as it did before I had a baby.

We live in a world that is full of information. We are constantly bombarded with it. What we need most, as it turns out, is not information but time. One way to create more time is to start saying “No” to anything that is not absolutely essential.

This Anti-New Year’s Resolution list can be a great first step in letting go of those things that are an energy drain or a time drag as we move into 2015. Here’s to saying “No” in the New Year!

And if you still feel the need to do some sort of New Year goal setting activity, instead of making a list, try creating a Goal Board instead. It’s a fun and unique way to make your goals a reality in 2015.

The post The Anti-New Year’s Resolution That Could Change Your Life appeared first on Akoya - Empowering Women thru Life Coaching, Workshops, & Retreats.

Whether you’re new to meditation or not, the New Year is a great opportunity to re-commit to your practice. And I’m excited to share something that can help.

Join our next 30 Day Meditation Challenge

It starts TOMORROW, so now is the time to join.

You’ll receive a short guided meditation every day for 30 days. It’s free and it only takes 5 minutes a day. Over 1,000 people are already participating in this challenge and I’d love to have you be part of this wonderful community!

Watch Anderson Cooper’s interview on how mindfulness changed his life

Here’s to a Mindful 2015!  Much Love,

Vanessa

P.S.   Ask a friend or family member to join you in this challenge by forwarding this link to them: Join today!

P.P.S.   Really…share this with your friends, it’s so much easier to stay committed when you have a partner or group of friends doing it too.

The post What do Anderson Cooper and Sheryl Sandberg have in common? appeared first on Akoya - Empowering Women thru Life Coaching, Workshops, & Retreats.