The love and relationships category of the blog collected short articles by Vanessa Loder on how we relate to others. Here is a guide to the four featured posts.

Take action and be heard

This 2012 post builds on an earlier idea of “players”, meaning people who take action. It asks you to look at one relationship that is not working well. The relationship need not be romantic; the author’s example is a dental hygienist after a cleaning that left her mouth feeling bad. The lesson is that speaking up clearly and acting on what you want improves almost any relationship.

Clearing conversations

Another 2012 post starts from the observation that nearly everyone has a list of people they have unresolved tension with. Holding on to ill will costs you more than it costs them, and the issue persists even when the person has left your life. The suggested remedy is a “clearing conversation” with family, friends or co-workers, in which you let go of resentment and say what needs saying.

Say no to say yes

Written in early 2013, this piece notes how much time people spend on things they do not want to do. The author used to believe that she should keep saying yes to things that scared her to push past her limits. She came to see that sometimes the stronger move is to decline, which frees energy for what matters.

Men, women and business

A mid-2013 post argues that equality between men and women in business is possible but still far away. As an illustration, it describes a relative who ran his own company and hesitated to hire a newly married woman because he feared she would soon leave. The post uses the story to show how assumptions shape hiring.

Reading further

These posts are personal opinion. More articles are on the blog, and the home page explains the wider programme.